Love will destroy us
by FairyHot
Summary: Tomorrow is my first day in a new school. I am not nervous, I don't even care. I am a short red-head with green eyes, freckles and bad ass clothes, cigarettes and fake ID. That's all I need to survive in this world. I loved my parents and they destroyed me, they loved me and I destroyed them. To love is to destroy and to be the one loved is to be the one destroyed. Please read! :)
1. Chapter 1

I was only three when it first happened. My brother and I were laying in bed, trying to fall asleep when we heard shouting. It was our mom and dad. Jonathan (my brother) had been three years old like me, so we started crying. Our parents couldn't do anything but only to came in our bedroom and calm us down. The second time it happened was after they came back from Egypt. They were unpacking their suitcases and everything was fine until they started shouting. The last time it happened it was the breaking point. I was only five, but I still remember all the shouting from their bedroom. John and I entered their bedroom and saw that our parents were standing on the opposite sides of their bed and shouting non-stop. We tried to stop them, but it only got worse. They started shouting everyday of the week and finally when my great-grandmother couldn't take it anymore, she took us to live with her in Switzerland.

While I was living in Switzerland, I had a lot of babysitters, because my great-grandmother was always at work. All the babysitters were nice, but they didn't care about us. They lived with us only because of money. That´s why my brother and I were so evil to them and they would run away. Our parents didn't show up or talk to us over that year. It was summer when we got a new babysitter. Her name was Lena and she was the best. She even became my Godmother when I was eight.

My first day of school hadn't the best one ever. My parents didn't even show up, they called at night saying that they were very happy for John and me, but nothing else. We were only five when we went to school. On the 20th of November, it was my 6th birthday. My parents called us in the morning saying that they both would come and celebrate no matter what and we believed them. But they came at night when we were already sleeping. Every New-Years, all of our family would spend it together, but that year there was only my brother, Lena and great-grandmother. They promised they would come and again I believed, but again just like with my birthday, they didn´t.

Later, my father took us to meet his new girlfriend, she was very sweet and nice, but as soon as we were out of her house, she told our father that if she ever saw us again, she would broke up with him.

Our mother called us only once a month. Every summer, John, Lena and I would go to Los Angeles. It was nice and sunny. I loved being there, but I knew I would've love it even more if my parents were there too. From ages 6 to 9, everything was in blue. My father found himself a new wife, who was pregnant and already had one child (not from my father) and hated us, my mother found a new husband, who also hated us, but our parents were happy so we were quiet. Then we found out that my mother was pregnant with one more child from my dad. We first met him when he was four. His name is Colin. And he also started living with us.

When I became ten, my mom finally decided it was time to grow up and take care of us. Lena helped her at first, but then our mother said that she didn't need her anymore, so Lena left. At first everything was ok; we transformed to another school, we studied and our mother took care of us, but then she started cheating on her husband. When he found out, he was very angry, so they got a divorce. At first John, Colin (who was very smart for his age) and I were very happy, that he was gone, but when everything crushed. Our mother didn't show up at home sometimes, John and I had to transform to another school, which was lower level, because of our bad grades and skipping school (we had to drive there and our mother wasn't home sometimes). At that time we were 12 and Colin 7. Our dad found a new girlfriend. He called once in awhile, but only to ask how we were doing. Our conversations with him and mother were empty, they didn´t mean anything. There was no love, nothing in them.

My grades even in my new school weren't good. I was very bad. I didn't follow the rules, I put my friends before school. I had a boyfriend who was fourteen and dated me only because my family had money and I dated him only because he was popular. I started smoking and stealing cigarettes from my mom. I didn't care about anybody and they didn't care about me. I would lie a lot to everyone, only to get money or skip school to go for walk with my friends. My grandmother (Seraphina) saw everything that was happening to me (my brother was ok) and asked my father to take us and take care of us, but he said "he had too much work to do". When I became 16, I lost my virginity to some guy I don't even know, I was still living with Seraphina and she took care of us, but I still was doing what I used to. Then Seraphina said that John, Colin and I would move to Brooklyn and study there. When we asked why she said because our father went to jail and our mother was in the car accident so we better forget about them (like I remembered in the first place) and start living a different life..

Now I am unpacking my suitcases in my new house. Tomorrow is my first day in a new school. I am not nervous, I don't even care. I am a short red-head with green eyes, freckles and badass clothes, cigarettes and fake ID. That's all I need to survive in this world. I loved my parents and they destroyed me, they loved me and they destroyed me. Some people might say it's cruel that this is not truth, but I don't give a shit to what they are thinking. This will be always the sentence of my life: _"To love is to destroy and to be the one loved is to be the one destroyed"_

 **New story!**

 **Thanks to my beta HeronFrayWood!**

 **R &R! F&F!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Clarissa Adele Morgenstern!" my brother shouted from downstairs. "Wake up right now or you are going to drive Colin to his school!"

"I am up!" I shouted back and groaned as I stood up. I showered and changed into white tank-top, black jean-shorts and a pair of black shoes. I put my hair into messy ponytail. I didn't wear any make up for two reasons. 1) I hate it, and 2) I don't need it. I took my bag and headed downstairs where my brothers were sitting.

"Morning," I said.

"Morning," they both mumble. Apparently no one was in a good mood today.

"Where is Seraphina?" I asked.

"She won't be here until next month. Some important business in London." John said.

"Ok," I said when an idea comes into my head, "Let's have a party on Friday after first game." I suggest.

"Sure." Jon turned to Colin "And you won't tell her, right?" he said.

"Yea, but I'll spend the night with my friends from school?" Collin asked.

"Sure thing, buddy," John said.

The thing is that the school year had already begun. It was my lazy ass which wanted to skip the first week of school. John and Colin already made friends, it was just me who needed to catch up.

"Ok, let's go." John said and we all went to his car. I have my own car, I even have a motorcycle, but today I was just too lazy to drive myself. First we dropped Colin off at his school, saying that we would pick him up around five because of the soccer practice. When John parked his car near the school, everybody there was already watching us. I didn't like attention, but I would still be in the middle because of my brother and my behavior.

I sighed and got out of the car, putting my sunglasses on. I started walking with Jon following hot on my heels. I know everybody was watching me, but I really don't care that much. It's just some sick boys who can't control their excitement. I went through school doors with John and went straight into the office. There was a woman woman with black, curly hair and black eyes behind the desk.

"Good morning," I said politely "Can I have my timetable, please?"

"Yes, sure sweetheart, your name please." The lady said

"Clarissa Morgenstern," I told her

"Oh, yes, I have it right here," she said as she passed me the paper. "Have a nice day," she said.

"Thank you, you too." I said as I exited the room

John took my timetable and started looking at it.

 _Homeroom- Ms. Amatis_

 _Art/Musick- Mrs. Fray_

 _Math- Mr. Ross_

 _Design- Mrs. Bilbrey_

 _Lunch- Cafeteria_

 _Science- Mr. Graymark_

 _I &S- Mr. Garrow_

 _PE- Mr. Riede_

It wasn't so bad, hopefully.

"Ok, I have Homeroom, Math, Design, lunch, I&S and PE with you." John said "What are you going to choose, Art or Music?" he asked.

"I am just going to go one week to one, another week to the other." I said.

"Ok, I am too. So we have most of the school day together," he said and I groan.

"That means spending more time with you." I pointed out.

"Come on, let's go to class, before we are late," John said, rolling his eyes.

"Ok," I said and we headed towards our first class.

We came in as the bell rang. As soon as everybody saw us, they went quiet. The teacher turned and I saw as a realization hit her. Seraphina didn't know that I had been skipping the first week of school, so probably the school called her. I wondered why she didn't shout at me yet.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? Finally Miss Morgenstern decided to visit our class." she said and everybody looked at me as John quietly went to his seat.

"I am really sorry, but for your information, I ditched all last week of school." I said, looking straight into her eyes.

"Well," she was saying to many "wells." "Tell me the reason why were you ditching school last week, Miss Morgenstern?" she asked. I rolled my eyes.

"I went to this club called Pandemonium last Sunday and was late for school on Monday, so I decided that I didn't need to come for the rest of the day." I say as I started moving toward an empty seat. "Next day, I went for a walk in the morning and found this cute guy in the park so I thought that it would be nice if he would show me around," I continued as I plopped down on my seat. "And for the rest of the week, I wasn't in the mood for school." I finished. Meanwhile, the whole class was staring at me in shock. "Is it enough?" I asked as I looked at the shocked face of my teacher.

"Yes. Please introduce yourself to class while I'll go and talk with Mr. Ross," she said as she quickly went away. I stood up and went in the front of the class.

"My name is Clarissa Adele Morgenstern, but you can call me Clary, and you probably already know but this is my dearest brother, John. I have one more brother, Colin but he is only 12. This is my natural hair color. I love music, art, soccer and baseball. I love clubs and parties. Any questions?" I said. One hand shot up. "Yes?"

"Where are you from?" the boy asked.

"Switzerland," I said.

"Are you single?" another boy asked.

"Yes," I said.

"You are hot." another guy said, I rolled my eyes. Of course.

"I know," I said and smirked at him, causing him to blush and some people to laugh.

"Can I call you "ginger"?" asked one girl on a second row who looked like a slut. Her boobs were fake, same as her hair. Her eyes were so blue that I could hardly believe that it was her natural color.

"Can I call you a slut?" I asked her back which caused some people in the class gasp and some jaws to drop.

"How dare you?!" the girl yelled in a high pitch voice. "You piece of shit! This is my school. I am Kaelie Whitewillow and I won't allow some trash talk to me li-" I cut her off.

"I am not interested in you insulting me, so please shut those red, gross, fake lips of yours and sit down." I said in deadly calm voice. She was taken aback. She sat down without another word.

"How old were you when you got your tattoos?" asked another boy. He had golden hair, golden eyes, golden skin. HE WAS MADE OF GOLD and he was super hot. Ok, I got distracted.

"I was 15," I answered "When I had my first one on my back, it's the biggest one, the second one was on my 16th birthday, on my boob and the rest I got on my 17th birthday." I finished.

My tattoos were the only remind of my childhood. I have angel wings on my back, angel rune on my boob and up on my hip, I have the phrase, "You can see scars outside, but not inside," For my dad, I have a rose on my lower back, for my mom, I have the years "1999" and "2004" and a little angel on my neck, which were for my brothers and one up my arm, which was a rose with thorns and blade, this one was for me.

"What do they mean?" asked the same boy.

"My family," I answered simply. Before I could say anything more the teacher came back to class.

"Miss Morgenstern, please take your seat," she said and I went back to my seat which was near my brother. "The rest of the homeroom is free time." she said and everybody went to their stuff.

I pulled out my iPod and turned on the music. I closed my eyes and lean on my brother's shoulder. Little did I know that a certain golden guy was watching me.

 **Thank you to my beta HeronFrayWood! (You should check out her stories! ;) )**

 **R &R! F&F!**


	3. Chapter 3

I was sitting at a lunch table with my brother, John, and few friends he had made. There were five other girls; Isabell Lightwood, Tessa Gray, Elizabeth Blackthorn, Helen Blackthorn, and Aline Penhallow (who was dating Helen), and four other boys; Will Herondale, Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane, and Jace Herondale.  
My brother is flirting with Lizzy so much, I think she is going to puke. The others are talking about something, but I am not really in the conversation because, honestly, I really don't give a shit about it.

I can't help myself, but I keep glancing at the guy in front of me, Jace. He is so mysterious. Like me, he also doesn't participate in the other's conversation, but keeps to himself. I accidentally lock eyes with him, but I quickly look away because it feels like he is looking through me, and I start to get uncomfortable. Finally, the bell rings and saves me from this awkward situation. I stand up and go to my next class, science. I hate science, always did and probably always will.

I am about to enter the classroom when I am stopped by a girl from homeroom.

"What do you want, Shely?" I ask

"My name is Kaelie!" she squeals.

"I really don't care," I say, "now can I go to my class, please?" I try to put as much sarcasm as possible into the last word.

"No" Kaelie responds.

"Are you sure about your answer?" I asked in a dangerously calm voice. By now everyone has stopped and is looking at us.

"Ye...yes" she says unsure.

"Well, then," I say roughly, and she flinches a bit, "tell me what do you want?"

"I want you to stay away from Jace, he is mine!" she shouts. I open my mouth to say something, but am cut off.

"He is mine!" There was another high pitched shout. I turned and saw a girl with dark hair and blue eyes and looks like a slut.

"What?!" Kaelie screeches, eyes wild.

"You heard me, slut!" the girl with dark hair shouts.

"Listen to me whore, Jace is mine and I am going on a date with him tonight!" Kailei said with victorious smirk. I can't take this anymore.

"Listen to me!" I shout, bringing everyone's attention to me. "Both of you are sluts and whores! Jace is not a piece of meat that you can fight over, so shut the hell up and go to your classes!" I finish. By now, everyone has expressions of shock, but soon enough they leave and the corridor empties. I finally enter my class and sit at the only empty seat, which happens to be next to Jace.

"Thanks" he says.

"For what?" I look at him, confused.

"For sticking up for me," he responds. "I am really tired of them" he adds, smiling. I smile back.

After that class ends, my next lesson is P.E. I love P.E., but my teacher would probably have us girls do hurdling or run. I change into my sports bra, short-shorts and shoes. As I leave, I put my hair into a ponytail. I look around and see some boys sitting on a bench with their jaws open wide, my brother and a bunch of girls sending daggers my way. I smirk and wave at them, which causes a few of them to fall down from the bench. I laugh and shake my head.

"Ok, everyone!" Mr. Riede, the coach, shouts. Everybody groans and stands in a line "So, boys will play soccer while the girls do cheerleading, am I clear?"

"No," I say and the others look at me with wide eyes.

"Excuse me?" Mr Riede asks.

"I don't want to do cheerleading" I respond.

"Then what do you want to do?" he asks.

"Soccer," I say and most of the class gasps.

"What?" He says, shocked.

"I said, I want to play soccer," I make sure my voice is calm.

"I doubt you can," he says, smirking.

"Let me show you." I reply.

"Ok then, Sebastian is the captain of the school team," the coach says, "you are going to play aganst him."

"If I win, I get to be the new captain, deal?" I hear more gasps from the other students, but I really don't care. Coach Riede looks over at Sebastian, who nods, smirking at me.

"Deal," coach replies, and he shakes my hand. Everyone else goes to sit on the bleachers, while Sebastian and I stand in the middle of the field.

"Ok, you will play until one of you reaches five goals. If Clary wins, she becomes the soccer captain, but if Sebastian wins, she has to do one thing he asks, and never play on the school team. Do you understand?" coach asks.

"Yes," Sebastian and I reply.

Then, we start playing. After I make my first goal, the students in the crowd are in shock. I continue to easily make goal after goal. Soon enough, I have all five. By the end of the game, everyone is on their feet and clapping. Sebastian's face is red from anger, and after a quick glare he runs away. Coach comes to me, smiling.

"Please meet the new captain of our soccer team!" he shouts and everybody cheers.

After soccer practice, my brother and I pick up Colin and drive home. We enter into the kitchen and see that our food was already there. After dinner, we each go to our bedrooms. I do my homework and change into a white see-thru tank top and black shorts. I play piano for a little while, before I go to bed and fall asleep.

The next morning I wake up, brush my teeth, put my hair into a messy bun, and go downstairs to the kitchen. After I turn on some music, I take out eggs and bacon, because even thought I hate them, my brothers love them. As I cook, I sway my hips from side to side. When I am done with breakfast, I get two plates of food and turn around. Standing there were the boys from soccer team whose eyes were currently popping out of their heads. I roll my eyes at them.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"We...we...ca...came to get you and your brother," Will says.

"Well, do you want to have breakfast with us?" I ask politely.

All the boys nod eagerly. Of course they would; They only want to watch me swing my hips. After I finish serving 12 plates of eggs and bacon, I put them on the table and sit down myself. As soon as boys try my food, their faces light up, and they start complimenting my cooking skills. They tell me they would like to come every day for breakfast to have my eggs and bacon.

 _Oh boy, this is going to be a long year!_

 **Thanks to my beta _whiplashx!_**

 **R &R! F&F!**


	4. Chapter 4

"Come on Clare!" John shouted "We are going!"

After everybody ate breakfast, I went upstairs to change. I was wearing my favorite black skirt, white blouse and black high heels. I went downstears. Boys were sitting on the sofa waiting.

"Finally" I heard Collin said. I rolled my eyes.

"I am going by my car, John" I said

"Fine, but" John said "you take one of them" he pointed at the boys "and Collin"

"Fine, who is coming with me?" everybody started arguing who would go "Shhh, let´s go Collin"

When everybody saw the car, arguments became even lauder. I had a black Ferrari 488GTB. I loved my car. Collin was already sitting at the back. I looked at the boys and saw one of them, Alec. He was looking at the guys like they were five years old. I locked eyes with Alec and nodded my head toward my car. He smirked and sat in the front. I put keys in engine and heard that beautiful sound which my car made. Oh, I missed it. I started entering out, than I saw all boys glaring at Alec and me. Well, not my problem. After we dropped Collin off, I sped up to school. As soon as I entered parking lot, all eyes again were on Alec and me. Alec and I entered out of the car and started going toward school. As we were going through school I heard whispers like:

"She is so hot"

"Why Alec Lightwood is with her, I thought he was gay"

"Did you see her car"

"I am going to ask her out"

Yea, good luck buddy. I thought when I heard last one. I opened my locker and stepped back when a lot of paiperes started falling out. Love letters. Ewww, it´s grose, I thought they only did it in the movies.

"Clary!" I heard someone called my name, I turned and saw Izzy with a boy standing next to her. He was wearing glasses and had black hair.

"Hey, Iz" I said

"Clary, I want to introduce you my boyfriend. Clary, Simon, Simon, Clary" she said

"It´s nice to meet you, Clary" Simon said

"Me too, Simon" I said and the bell rang. I picked my stuff, said goodbyes to Alec, Izzy and Simon and went to my first class.

It was super boring, so I drew and listened to John on how we would play on Friday and have party afterwords. Today I had Music, it was fun. I was asked to perform in front of the class, which I gladly did. Jace also was in that class and his eyes were on me all lesson. Next lesson was Math. I liked Math, because I knew it pretty good. I had that class with John and Jace. Jace and John were sitting behind me. I don´t know why, but I had this feeling like Jace´s eyes were burning a hall in my head. As soon as the bell rang I was out of my sit, sprinting down the hall, away from him. Last lesson before lunch was Design. I hate Design. We just sit there and do nothing. After super boring lesson, I had lunch. I was sitting with the same group, but there also was Simon. Again my lunch was awkward because every time I looked up, I would meet Jace´s golden eyes. I couldn´t stand it anymore. I stood up and turned to John.

"I am going" I said

"What? Where?" he asked, I just turned around, but thought better of it.

"Don´t wait, I`ll be home at two or three o´clock" I said and walked out of the cafeteria.

I looked around the bedroom looking for my skirt. Guy we whom I just had little bit of fun was still sleeping. I think his name was James or something like that. He was blond and had tan skin, but still he wasn´t as gold as Jace. Oh God, not again. As soon as I came here, I had a lot of offers, but every time I tried to flirt with them, I always compare them to Jace. I compere those pathetic excuse of a boy, to a guy who has gold hair, gold eyes and gold skin. So, only after seven shots, I became my normal self and found that guy, but know that I look at him I can see that he has something like Jace. Though Jace is still better.

I finally found my blouse. I put it on and entered out of the room. When I arrived home it was already 12 o´clock. I entered in the house and started going to my bedroom when I heard laughing. It was coming from the living room. I started going toward the living room. What I saw made me laugh. There were five boys. John, Alec, Jace, Will and Magnus. Everybody, except Magnus, were dressed in ballet costumes and he was taking pictures of them. As soon as they heard me laughing, they all looked at me, well more like glared at me.

"Wow, dear brother, didn´t know you were going that path with Jace and Will" I said in the most serious voice I could master. Three of them glared at me even harder and Alec started laughing. I took out my phone and as quickly as possible took a picture. I looked down to see if it was ok and took of to my bedroom before four boys would get my ass.

I locked my door and went to the bathroom. When I enter ´d out, I heard shoutings of my brother and his friends outside.

"Clarissa Adele Morgenstane, open the door, RIGHT NOW!" John shout

"Clary, deleat the picture, PLEASE!" it was Alec

"CLARISSA, OPEN THE DOOR!" that, I am sure as hell was Jace

"Guys, she is not going to open, she is too STUBBORN!" and that was Will

I laughed quietly and took out my phone. I quickly upload the picture in Instagram and after three seconds I heard groans outside. I snickered and changed in to my PJ´s and went to peaceful sleep.

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